my heart is being tugged in eight different directions, and i can't decide what's best for me. they all have a "but", an "if", a justification, something that needs to happen so it will be the best option in the future.

i dont want to risk you hurting me again, i dont want to risk losing you, i dont want to risk holding on too tightly.

there's too much that i don't want, but i have to focus on what i do... do i even know what that is anymore?